what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
