There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
