I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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