new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
