This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
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