Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
