My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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