you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
