does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize