just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
