dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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