Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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