Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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