no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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