So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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