This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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