After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
