remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
