thus making me awesome and them whores
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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