guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize