I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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