the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize