but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
