your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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