ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
