Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
