The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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