no, he came in my armpit
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
