It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
