why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
