arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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