He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
