If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize