Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
