Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
