He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
