You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize