I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
jump out the window naked night went bad
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