I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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