How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
