You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
