wakey wakey hands off snakey
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
