You can't motorboat a personality
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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