Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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