Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
