Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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