she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
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he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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