But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
