So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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