Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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