The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
