i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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