____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize