There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
