Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize
