HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
